I Have Been Changed

Today was the last day of classes. Well yesterday was too since my classes are on alternating days, but that's beside the point. At the end of each class, I noticed that people were walking up to the professors and thanking them for the wonderful semester. 

A big goal of mine this semester is to be 100% honest. I realized that before coming here to BYU, I never told big lies, but I had fallen into the habit of telling "little white lies".  I never thought it was a big deal, but let me tell ya, ever since I stopped, I have noticed a huge difference in my life. 

It's so refreshing. 

So uplifting. 

My integrity is worth so much more than the little white lies I used to subconsciously say. 

Anyway, back to my story. Let's just say I did not enjoy some of my professors this semester. They caused me a lot of stress, lack of sleep, and frustration. In my old self, I would have walked up to them and thanked them for the great semester. But I could no longer bring myself to do this, because it wasn't the truth. So instead I walked out of the classroom.

 But then today, I experienced something I have never experienced before. 

I had one professor this semester who changed my life. His name is Larry Nelson and although BYU lables him as teaching Human Development, in reality he teaches life lessons. Dr. Nelson taught me the woman, the wife, and the mother I want to be. He also taught me the type of man I want to marry someday. I have never felt the Spirit so strong as I did during some of his lectures. He is an amazing man, and a huge mentor in my life. 

It just so happened that his class ended up being my very last class for this semester. As I sat listening to his final lecture, I kept looking at the clock praying that the time would pass slower because I did not want this class to end. I loved Dr. Nelson so much and I my admiration for him was indescribable. Half way through class, tears started to run down my cheeks and a large lump formed in my throat. I felt like a was losing someone that meant so much to me. I know he wasn't dying or anything like that, but that's how I felt. 

At the end of class, I rose from my seat and carried myself to the front of the large lecture hall, trying to regain my composure. As I waited in line to address him, I could feel my emotions building up inside of me. Finally it was my turn to talk to him. 

Tears came out before words could. 

He grabbed my hand and said "thank you" as I tried to gain enough composure to say something. I was finally able to say a few words to him and he thanked me again. 

Walking to the exit of the auditorium was one of the longest walks I have ever walked. 

I didn't want to leave.

 I wanted to just stay there forever. 

As I left the building, tears continued to flow down my cheeks. I'm sure what I have written on here can't even begin to describe this experience for me, although I wish it could. I wish I could convey to you the impact he had on me. 

But that can only be experienced, not told of. 

Going back to the whole honesty thing, as I was contemplating back on this experience later tonight, I realized that because I had been completely honest with myself and others, my sincere words to him resonated with such greater power than I have ever experienced or felt before. I learned that when you are always 100 % honest, the power of your words can be indescribable. You will never feel something so powerful and impacting than when expressing the truth from the deepest part of your soul. 

I have been changed.